What Jerry Seinfeld Taught Me About Writing
Feeling OK when I fall short of my writing goals
Hello and welcome to Mature Content, a newsletter about lifelong learning, where I offer tools, insights, and resources for personal growth and discovery. This is the monthly installment of Good Tools, where I feature a strategy for learning something about yourself or the world around you.
I’m one of those people who sits down every morning of the work week and writes. I typically do my writing after I’ve warmed up with my morning pages (and coffee!) and—crucially—*before* I check my phone.
By and large, this system works quite well. Most days I’m writing by 7 am. If I’ve got a busy day, I might start a bit earlier. (I’ve learned that if I try to write after executing some other important task—like, say, delivering a workshop or coaching someone—the writing ain’t gonna happen.
So I really try to commit to this routine.
Except when I can’t.
Feelings of Failure and Disappointment
Some days, I’m on the road for work and can only manage 30 or 45 minutes to write. Other days, because of early morning commitments, I can’t write at all. I have an entry in my task management software that keeps track of all the time I lose. I update it regularly.
As someone who’s a big believer in accountability—particularly with the goals I set for myself—the “lost time” tracker feels necessary.
Or is it?
On those days where I shorten my writing time, I spend the rest of the day enshrouded in guilt and shame. My panel of elders—an imaginary semi-circle of aging wise men who collectively monitor my every move—shake their heads in disappointment.
On those days where I shorten my writing time, I spend the rest of the day enshrouded in guilt and shame.
But I’m trying to shift that mindset. As I embrace my writer identity and devote more time to writing-adjacent tasks like submissions, I’m also trying to be kinder to my writer self.
The Jerry Seinfeld School of Writing
One of the writers who’s inspired me to change my mindset is Jerry Seinfeld. Seinfeld writes with a bifurcated approach. Once he’s sat down and done the work—even if it’s just 30 minutes and even if it’s total sh#$—he’s very kind to himself afterwards. He knows how hard it can be to produce even a sentence some days, let alone a paragraph. So he rewards himself with a workout or a treat of some sort. (When he sits back down to edit that piece of writing at a later point in time, he is ruthless with himself. But that’s stage two.)
I was reminded of Seinfeld’s approach to writing while listening to a recent interview with the amazing
on Kate Bowler’s podcast, Everything Happens. Towards the end of a wide-ranging discussion about creative living, Suleika said something that really resonated: “You make something where there was nothing before or where there is something different before and it does feel like a…transmutation of something that might be considered base or worthless into something noble and precious.”“You make something where there was nothing before or where there is something different before and it does feel like a…transmutation of something that might be considered base or worthless into something noble and precious.” - Souleika Jaouad
And I thought: Yes. That *is* exactly how it feels when I write, whether I do it for 20 minutes or two hours. So why not celebrate that creation, however minute, instead of turning it into yet another rule I need to follow?
The Joy of the "Ta Da” List
A big part of my creative celebration of late takes the form of a “Ta Da” list. A “Ta Da” list is one you compile that itemizes *only* those things you accomplished that day. I first learned about it from the wonderful
(who’s got a fabulous new substack called Secrets of Adulthood here.)The Ta Da list is a complete reframing of the classic To Do list. A To DO list tends to focus on everything you DIDN’T get done that day and transfers it to tomorrow (with the requisite self-flaggelation that ensues). By rewarding yourself for what you *did* achieve, the Ta Da list, in contrast, helps you summon the drive to continue.
Take this newsletter. I had planned to write a draft last Friday. Which slipped to Sunday. Which slipped to today. But I got it finally got it done.
Ta Da!
Announcement
As I experiment with this whole Substack thang, I’m going to start rolling out daily shares of the sorts of things I typically include in my monthly “Good Reads” and “Good views/listens” on my chat vertical here. These are items I really enjoyed listening to, watching, or reading, but which don’t make the monthly cut. Consider it an extra dose of Mature Content! To access those, click here.